Make your check-ins clear, career-focused, and worth your time - even if they’ve felt flat or rushed.

You’re experienced and great at your job.
You care about doing meaningful work and making an impact.

So why do your 1:1 catch-ups often feel rushed, awkward, or like a box-ticking exercise?

Common challenges I hear from my women in tech clients:

“I don’t really know what I’m meant to be saying...”

“I feel rushed and not listened to.”

“They seem disengaged.'

“I don’t get that ‘good meeting’ feeling.”

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone - and you’re not the problem.

The good news:

Whether it’s with your line manager, tech lead or CEO, you don’t need to wait for them to make changes. You can shape your meetings into something more valuable, starting now.

Download your Better 1:1s Toolkit here >>

1. Decide what you want from the meeting.

Before you walk in, ask yourself:

How do I want to feel after this?

What decision, insight, or feedback would I like?

What would make this time worthwhile?

What specific support do I need right now?

Clarity going in creates clarity coming out.

2. Frame the session.

Don’t wait to be asked - lead the conversation:

“I’d love to talk about what I’ve contributed and where I need help.”

“I have some specific questions about our project direction.”

“I’d like to talk through my reasoning on this issue.”

This isn’t pushy - it’s professional.

3. Real Examples That Work

Simple, direct requests that open better conversations:

“Could we bounce ideas about this issue I’m stuck on?”

“I’m concerned about X and would value your perspective.”

“I’m trying to balance these priorities - here’s what I think. What’s your take?”

You’re not being needy - you’re being strategic.

4. Reshape Future 1:1s

“I’ve been thinking about our one-to-ones and how I’d like to get the most out of them. I’ve got some ideas about how to structure them going forward. Shall I talk you through them?”

Managers often want to do better - they just need direction.

5. Specific Requests You Can Make

Ask for:
- A shared agenda (or space in theirs)
- Time to think aloud on complex challenges
- Some 1:1s focused on career development
- Regular check-ins on how you’re progressing
- These are reasonable, not radical.

6. Let them see the full picture.

Share the work you’ve been doing that may not be visible:

- Talks, mentoring, stretch projects
- Progress you’ve made
- Big-picture thinking

7. Ask what they need from you.

“Is there anything you’d like more or less of from me?”

It’s a powerful way to build trust and create real collaboration.

Remember: You’re entitled to request, desire, and expect conversations about your career, your progression, and how you’re doing.

Advocating for yourself isn’t extra - it’s essential.

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Want templates and scripts to make this even easier?

Get The Better 1:1s Toolkit - your guide to running check-ins that actually work.

Download your Better 1:1s Toolkit here >>

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